Never to Find

I read because I'm searching.
Have always been searching.
Used books stores are the best.
But Amazon these days, as well.

And the library ...
A source of endless unusual books.
Small spaces here need no more books.
So, get 'em from the library.

To continue the search.
For what? you may ask.
I have no idea.
But I'll know when I find it.

Or will I?
Is it the search that counts?
Is it the never finding that's pure?
Would "finding it" only be an illusion?

We humans crave meaning.
Meaning that requires something larger than the self.
So, I read.
I search.

And if you're searching, too.
Keep it up.
There is pleasure in the reading.
And a certain pleasure in never finding.

Or, as a Reformed thinker might put it.
It's God we seek.
And in our seeking, we discover:
It's God seeking us.

And we're found of God.
Even in our not finding God.
Because God cannot be found.
God cannot be claimed.

And as a favor to us.
God remains elusive.
So much of our humanity and our humility.
Is the searching, never to find.