Thursday, January 28, 2016

Evangelicals, Crazy Mad in Love with Donald


That's the Evangelical Way - the way, the truth and the life.

The roots of it are deep, but in my recent memory, one has to go no further than the snake handlers of West Virginia and Kentucky ... in those deep and shadowy hollers, filled with the wreckage of mines abandoned and lives bent and damaged, the reading, the spurious reading, from Mark's gospel, about handling snakes, became a central element in worship.

To handle something evil and overcome it ... to dance with it, kiss it, play with it, and not be harmed by it - that's power, that's glory, that the Evangelical Dead End.

Because the snake sometimes bites, and people die.

And if the folks liked you, well, then, God called you home ... it was your time ... God said so.

And if they didn't like you, well, then, you failed ... you didn't have enough faith ... there was sin in your life and you didn't trust Je-e-sus ... and our god is a punishing god ... so, no tears shed - ya' had it coming.

And that's power ... power over evil, and power over death, and the power of judgment.

But on a more sophisticated level, Billy Graham and his crusades, his anti-union crusades, anti-communist crusades, his pro-capitalism crusades ... Jesus died for your sins, so that you can go to heaven when your brief span of years is done ... this earth isn't your home, but heaven is, and Jesus, the Jesus I proclaim, will get you there ... so, come forward now, and give your life to Jesus. You don't need your unions, your agitation, your FDR dreams of a better life; you just need Jesus.

And that's power ... ultimate power ... because you're heaven-bound, and your crummy relatives aren't ... and neither are those raucous Catholic neighbors next door, nor that Jew-boss of yours ... they won't get there, but you will ... you'll have the last laugh.

And that's power.

Then add to that the healers of every malady,  and the purveyors of wealth, health and happiness, and you end up with power ... and if heaven isn't quite the goal it used to be, then big homes and fast cars and Wall-Street-sized investments will do nicely. Heaven's bling, here and now ... Tammy Faye eyelashes and Jan Crouch hair ... and more miracles than you can shake a stick at.

Megachurches and Oral Roberts' Praying Hands ... miracle stories to keep the cash-cow happy and producing ... the woman who threw away her pills and the sweet little kid who no longer needs his wheelchair ... wow, that's power, too.

And do worship, of course, with the latest gimmicks and gizmos and trends and Twitter ... keep it thin and dazzling ... and preacher, wear those untucked shirts and pressed jeans ... but it's still the same ol' Je-e-sus who'll get you what you want - hey, you're a child of the King ... and if you think positive, if you give your tithe and then some, if you hate abortionists and if you despise homo-sex-u-als, well, then, you're better than they are, much better, and god loves you.

And that's power.

And so are guns ... bang ... there ya' go ... to protect my family and keep us safe ... and someday, when the Anti-Christ comes,  and maybe he's already here in that man in the white house ... we'll be ready with our bottled water and our guns ... and off to the woods we'll go ... no people of color, or course, just the White Bread, please ... whistling Dixie.

And that's power.

And if god hasn't punished anyone lately, then go after the Muslims, go after the poor, who are nothing but leeches on the godly system of Capitalism, leeches who make you feel bad, leeches who make bad choices, compared to your good choices, and they smell bad and do drugs.

And that's power.

So, no wonder, is it?

That Evangelicals are crazy mad in love with Donald Trump.

1 comment:

Bob Dahl said...

Preach on, Brother!