I Miss My Books

I miss my books.
Thousands of them I had.
Shelved and double shelved.
Many read entirely.
Some in bits and pieces.
Some again and again.
Some not at all.

But everyone of them a friend.
A comfort and a companion.
A reminder of great things.
Or small things, too.

But in the course of time.
Heading into interim ministry.
And then into retirement.
I had to say fare-thee-well.

Boxed up and given away.
Large sets sold on e-bay.
Some sent to a seminary in the Philippines.
Commentaries given to a young minister.

I miss them now and then.
But I'm glad to be free of them, too.
They served their purpose.
Even as I have.

Time hurries on.
And for the journey, less baggage.
Easier travel, for sure.
But I miss my companions.

Who, I hope, are serving others.
As they served me.
With insights and challenge.
Encouragement and comfort.

Thanks, good friends.
I miss you.
But you don't miss me.
You did your job, and now on to new employers.

The Retirement Road - OMG, Lent Around the Corner

This week, Ash Wednesday - OMG … it snuck up on me, but this time, after 43 Ash Wednesdays as a pastor, I'm retired, and haven't planned a damn thing - hee hee …

I love it, and I'm glad to be free of those many burdens of
planning and study and
reflection and trying to be creative and
clever and thoughtful and humble and profound,
and focused on God and socially relevant - all at the same time.

In church yesterday (after missing the preceding two Sundays when we were in Phoenix with family and friends), I realized that Lent was upon us.

Lent is an important part of the church's annual journey … and an important one for me, too.

Yes, I don't have to do the planning this year - what a relief!

But I'll be in church on Ash Wednesday for the imposition of Ashes.

Retired Husband Problems … Enjoy!

Subject: RETIRED HUSBAND

 

    

  RETIRED HUSBAND

 After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my
dear wife received the following letter, from the local Target:

 

Dear Mrs. Harris, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, In our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by

our video surveillance cameras:

 

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other      
people's carts when they weren't looking.

 

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

 

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

 

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned
station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance,
causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.

 

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

 

6. August 14: Moved a, 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

 

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite
them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which
twenty children obliged.

 

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

 

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it,
as a mirror while he picked his nose.

 

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

 

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while,
loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.

 

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look'
using different sizes of funnels.

 

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

 

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
he assumed a fetal position and screamed; 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

 

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

 

And last, but not least:

 

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile;
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.